It's Been a Week of Yoga...

I practiced this morning for 40 minutes. Several rounds of Sun Salutation and the feel-good pain of hip openers. I ended with meditation (or at least my version of it) where I focused on my breathing and releasing the tension in my back.

I will admit to watching the clock today.

The week has been busy and next week will prove to be even more so. Saturday and Sunday is when I can focus on the house: cleaning it up, doing laundry, small repairs. On top of that, I need to organize my notes from a flurry of meetings last week and prepare for the onslaught of next. Giving in to what feels like a luxurious passage of time, is a hard one for me to embrace.

This morning, I slept later than I planned and woke up feeling tense and rushed. Although my body was stiff from a long, uphill run yesterday, the last thing I wanted to take time for was practice. That said, I made a somewhat public commitment to do this for 30 days and here I was, one week into it, trying to talk myself out of it. Shameful.

Dutifully, I unrolled my mat, stood in Mountain Pose and crept slowly into Forward Bend.

Oh gawd. This was going to be harder than I thought.

A few rounds later, I felt better, but discouraged. Where had my progress gone? I know I was doing better than this a couple of days ago and on top of that my knees hurt, my sciatica felt achy and my jaw couldn't possibly be tighter. So, reluctantly, seeing that all of 8 minutes had passed, I kept going.

I continued rounds of Sun Salutations while I formulated the rest of practice in my head: Two more rounds of this, 4 rounds of hip openers, 2 rounds of sitting poses with twists and ending in mediation. I worked through my ad hoc plan, feeling better that I had an end in sight, but noting that I was having trouble finding joy in my practice.

Forty minutes later, as I sat with legs folded and hands resting in my lap, I drew a breath through my nose and into my belly, expelling it slowly while trying to release the tight muscles in my lower back. As I reflected on my body, seeking out the pain and allowing it to dissipate, I felt better. I did the practice, and I did it well. I found little joy in the motions, but found joy in completing it. I can accept that.

Now, where the hell is my coffee? I've got shit to do.