Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Answer Me This

A post where I talk about to-do lists, childhood pyromania and make a thinly veiled reference to Star Wars.

How is there not enough time in the day?

Life is busy - for me, for you, for everyone. We do our best to prioritize, organize, list and then set out to "do". We have gadgets and programs to help us multi-task, appliances that make our chores faster and easier, a car to help us get from place to place and permanent press fabric so that tracking down an iron nowadays is near impossible. We even have technology that takes the brevity of electronic communication to a whole new level of speed - texting, Facebook posts and Twitter feeds.

At this very moment, as I type this post, I have a report due...yesterday, a house full of chores to be done and volunteer duties that glare with judgement from my calendar.  Yet here I am. Still writing and spending what is no doubt precious time, if only to me, typing a post that a scant number of people will read.

As a kid, life was busy too. There were oak trees to climb, experiments in the garage with flammable liquids, gowns pieced together out of gauzy fabric found in my mother's closet and a regular game of Kickball played in the vacant lot next door. Time either dragged like an old lady driving a Buick on a one lane road or or flew by like a screaming X-wing escaping the exploding Death Star.

This afternoon, I spent time remembering a woman who died four years ago today. A cousin, actually, although one that I didn't meet until I was 14 and she was 16 and my Dad married her Aunt. Sweet and kind, a beautiful woman with a smile that was infectious, Jessica died at thirty seven of breast cancer, two years younger than I am now, leaving two children and her high school sweetheart-turned-husband with broken hearts and empty arms.

She didn't have enough time either.

So, as I sit here in my dining room gazing at the Christmas tree adorned with my childhood ornaments and blithely ignore the stack of bills on the edge of the table until I've had one more glass of wine, answer me this...

How is there not enough time in the day? In a week? In a lifetime? Maybe the answer is that there will never be enough big surprise there...the rapid growth of my three children and the persistent graying of my hair is a daily reminder of how little time there is.

One of my favorite quotes this year, as I move quickly through my days. It is a reminder to be present:

"When it's over, I want to say: All my life, I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms." -- Mary Oliver

G with the Little One.